Colt-The incident...(this is sad)

I want you to be aware of the fact that this is not the happy blog post about the life of Colt, this is the sad one. So if you are pregnant, don't read it because you will sob. If you just get sad in general, don't read it, because you will get sad.

This will be hard for me to type up. I mean, honestly, I can't believe that I am even in a position to write this. I can't believe my precious Colty is gone. It sucks and I wouldn't do it, but he was an amazing companion and member of our family. Because I want to get it out of the way, I'll explain what happened first and then go from there.

On February 13th, I woke up and did our morning thing. Colty was actually sleeping at my head, which he rarely did voluntarily. He usually slept at my feet or next to me under the covers. I remember smiling when I woke up because I could feel him leaning against me and I could hear him snoring. I got up and got ready to take the boy to school. As soon as I grabbed my keys to go, here came Colty running to the door because he did not want to be left. He always rode with me to take the boy to school, unless it was too cold, then he would stay home:) We took the boy to school and Colty spent a little extra time giving him kisses. I even heard the boy say, while laughing, "ok Colty, I have to go to school now. I love you, too!".  Since it was a nice morning I decided to open the window up so Colty could stick his head out as we went back home. I had already decided that I was going to make taking Colt for walks a regular thing, so I decided that since I was going to go walk I could justify getting donuts for Elias and I and a kolache for Colty. (I realize that you are judging me, go ahead, I don't regret spoiling my dog and you won't make me feel bad.) I went in and got our donuts, cake donut for me, glazed donuts for Elias and at the last minute I decided to splurge and get Colt a jumbo kolache. I remember leaving the donut store and getting into the car and smiling at the thought of how happy Colt was about to be. We got home and Elias was awake by this point. We ate our breakfast and Colt devoured his kolache. He then came and sat by me wondering if I possibly had anymore for him. We all got ready to go to Town Lake. Colt loved Town Lake. He loved the freedom of running ahead of us and playing with other dogs and occasionally getting in the water. Colt always knew that we were taking him for a walk when we would get his leash down. He was so excited to jump in the car and take the car ride up to Town Lake. We got to Town Lake and walked around the short loop once. Colt did his usual thing, run ahead of us, turn back to make sure we were coming, then go ahead of us some more. It was fun. After we finished the loop, we let Colt play with the dogs for a little while. He loved just running around and getting the big dogs to chase him. He loved running up to the people who were there with their dogs. There was another Boston Terrier there that morning and Colt had a good time playing with him for a little while.

We eventually left and decided to stop at Sandy's to get a burger and a shake. I ate about half of my burger and couldn't resist the puppy dog eyes and massive drool that was falling from his mouth. Around this time time after getting some exercise in and having a full stomach Colt and I decided to spend the rest of the afternoon doing our favorite thing, sleeping:) We slept until Elias went to exercise. Before Elias left, though, he looked at Colty and I lying on the couch and smiled and then grabbed the iPad to take a picture of Colty. I'm so glad he did, that was the last picture we got of our precious Colty.  Colty and I woke up and went to get the boy from school. Again, Colt loved going with me to do this. We picked the boy up and again Colty got to ride with his head out of the window. We got home and laid down again. (I promise I'm not that lazy all the time.) Everything else from here on out is sort of a blur and honestly I'm ok with that. I woke up when my neighbor came over to chat. We chatted for about an hour or so with Colt being super excited that she came over to see him. I just remember him bringing her the ball over and over, like he always did, and her just pushing it off the couch, like she always did. She had just said that Colt was determined to make her like him and he was starting to be successful in that endeavor. I just smiled and said of course he is, he's Colt, who could possibly not like him?!? The next thing I remember I saw our other neighbor walking across our yard and come to our front door. I went to open the door to see what was going on and he had Colt by the collar. Colt had gotten out, I though he was just in the backyard. I was thanking him for bringing Colt back to us and he began telling us how he had just gotten a Boxer so he was glad to bring Colt back to us. Colt ran inside and went to the kitchen to get some of his water. Elias and I were speaking to our neighbor at the front door when it happened. Colt bolted out the front door across the street to where there were kids and other dogs, except he didn't make it across the street. It still hurts to think of this part and I have BEGGED God to take this memory from me. Like, literally, begged Him to erase this part from my mind. It is the worst feeling to see something about to happen and know you can't do anything about it. Especially when it happens to someone/something you love so much. I just remember Elias scooping Colt up and putting him in the car and I grabbed the keys and we left, our neighbor grabbed the kids and locked up our house. We took him to our normal vet who was about to close and they helped him by giving him some oxygen and then called the emergency vet to let them know we would be on the way. We drove Colt to the emergency vet that was halfway across town, at rush hour. I was praying, Elias was praying. I was driving like a mad woman and it was by the grace of God that we didn't wreck or get pulled over.

We got to the vet and they began treating him with oxygen immediately. In our haste to get Colt to the vet we left some important stuff at home that sort of slowed them down a little, but that was handled pretty fast. They were getting Colty ready to go do X-Ray's and let us see him before they did. I just remember hearing the heart monitor and seeing him laying there. My crazy, active pup was just laying there. I hugged him and cried. I apologized for letting this happened and begged him to fight and not leave me. Then Colt did something that warms my heart to this day, he picked his head up off the table, out of the oxygen mask and gave me a kiss. It was the sweetest thing I've ever experienced. My sweet pup was in so much pain and wanted to comfort me still. They did the X-Rays and told us that it wasn't as bad as it could have been and that he would need surgery to fix his hip that was broken and that he could have that done as soon as a couple of days. We went in to tell him goodbye for the night and it was the 2nd hardest thing I have ever done. I felt horrible leaving him there, but I knew he was in good hands. The vet told us to call at any point that night if we needed to.

We got home, told the kids he was gonna be ok and then they went to bed. Up until this point I had broken down other than when I saw him. I went into my room and looked at my bed, where my pup should be, would be if it was any other normal day and I broke down. Elias broke down. Our sweet pup was hurt and it was bad and we couldn't do anything for him. It was horrible. I woke up every 2 hours that night and called the vet each time I did. I begged God to please heal my Colty and please don't take him from me. I begged God to erase my mind of what happened. We woke up the next morning to a call from the vet saying that Colt had actually done better than they expected through the night and they would release him to be taken to a surgeon to begin his healing process. We got the kids off to school and then got ready and went to pick Colt up to take him to the surgeon. We got him to the surgeon earlier than expected and they had us wait while they took in other pets. Elias was upset, to say the least. I enjoyed a little one on one time with my Colty, even though he was hurt. I enjoyed hugging him and kissing him and telling him I love him without vets and other people there. They took Colt in and we went into a room to wait for the vet to come tell us the plan. The vet was really nice. She explained everything to us and reassured us that while anything was possible, he should be able to recover nicely...slowly, but nicely. I just remember breaking down at the thought of Colt being in anymore pain, but I was willing to do whatever I needed to do to make him better. We got to see Colt again before we had to leave. This vet was a little stricter about calls and visits so we went and spent some time with him knowing we wouldn't be able to see him until after surgery. They took us back into the room and there was my Colty, lying on a table, again. This time, he saw us when we walked in and picked his head up to follow us until we were right next to him. I cried some more and hugged him some more. I told him I loved him and apologized again. I kissed him and told him we would see him tomorrow. Elias did the same thing. We walked away and I turned back to look one more time. He was just laying there. This was the last time we saw Colt alive. I remember thinking that he was hurt and that he was too good of a dog to go through this. I remember praying and asking God to please just heal him.

February 15th was the worst day of my life. We woke up that morning and called the vet. She had said that if Colt did well through the night she would operate on him around noon that day. We wanted to see how he did. She said he did wonderful, he had started sitting up and was more alert. She said she was confident he was ready for surgery so she would be doing it that day. She said we could come see him afterwards and she would call me to tell me how he did. We had a training for foster care that morning so we got ready to go to that. It was a welcomed distraction. We started heading to the training and Elias asked if I was sure she said we couldn't see him. I told him what she said again and we continued on our way to the training. My only regret is that we didn't go see him one more time. When he was more active/alert than the previous time. We thought the training started earlier than it did so we were going to be really early, so we stopped at Jamba Juice before we went to the training. About an hour into the training is when my world stopped. Life as I knew it ceased to be. I saw I had a missed call, it was about 11. The surgery wasn't supposed to start until 12, so I wasn't too worried. I thought maybe they were just calling to tell us they were going to start and confirm that we wanted them to do the surgery. But that wasn't the case. The lady on the other in said "I'm sorry to call you like this. We started prepping Colt for surgery and his heart gave out. The dr. has been giving him CPR for 5 minutes and we need to know what you would like us to do." How I didn't scream, I don't know. How I stayed upright, it could only be God. I remember begging them to keep going, please don't stop. It's all I could say. Please, don't stop, please. I ran in grabbed my purse and Elias and took off. I don't even know how I explained it to Elias. We jumped in the car and tried to make our way down there, fast. The problem was, we were in north central Austin, Colt was in south Austin. The traffic was stopped on the highway so we had to try to figure out how to get to him by cutting across town. I called my mom sobbing and begged her to please join me in begging God to not take my Colty. Please, don't take my Colty. When I was on the phone with her the vet called. I answered and she said the words that kill me to this day, "I'm so sorry. I've done everything I can do. Colt did not make it." I begged her to please, please don't stop. I told her I would take over when I got there, just please don't stop. She said there was nothing left for her to do and asked if we wanted to come say goodbye. I told her that of course we did and then Elias and I made the sad, long, cold journey to say goodbye to the best friend we'd ever had.

There is no easy way to say goodbye. There is no easy way to walk into a place knowing that when you walk out that's it. When they took us to the room and brought him in it all hit me like a mac truck. I broke down. I grabbed my dog who was lifeless and I sobbed. I felt myself break at that moment. My heart broke and stopped being the heart that it once was. I took in as much of him as possible, knowing this was it. This was the last time I would ever see his precious eyes, his sweet nose. Those lips and those crooked little teeth. Those spots that not every Boston has. That brindle hair. Those precious paws that were half white, half black. So many marks and characteristics that made him Colt. So many unique parts that God created him with. But the best part of him was already gone. He was just a shell. He didn't flick his ear when I touched it. He didn't pull his paw back when I rubbed it. He did lick me when I kissed him or rubbed his nose. He was gone. I didn't want to leave. Elias handled all the details, there is no way I could have made any decisions. I remember sitting there while Elias grieved and I remember all these memories flooding my mind. I remember them coming to get Colt to take him and I remember one last goodbye. The hardest goodbye of my life. I almost grabbed him and just left. I don't know what I would have done, other than just have him. But that would be weird, I suppose.

Telling the kids was so hard. The boy immediately sobbed and jumped in my lap. We spent the better part of the weekend sobbing, actually. The girl cried when she first heard, but it wasn't until later that she really broke down. Colt was so healing for them. He loved them from the beginning and I know they loved him. He connected us. Some of our best memories had been with him. Taking him for walks or to play with his soccer ball.

This ended up being way longer than I expected. But honestly, I wanted to type it up and get it out there. I'll follow this blog up with some of our favorite memories of Colty and hopefully some pictures. But for now, you know what happened, in case you didn't already. I know it's terribly sad and I won't lie, I have been sobbing this whole time. I promise to update soon so this isn't the last blog you see about my Colty.

He was the best dog ever. Don't try to argue with me, because you won't win. Don't be offended either, your dogs are great. They just aren't my dog. I miss him more than words can say. I'm sure he is in heaven running around having a grand ole time, because all dogs go to heaven, right?!?