I have definitely learned so much about myself, my marriage, my opinions and my God since they've been here.
About myself, I've learned that I am capable of loving someone but not liking them on a daily basis and yet still wanting to help them and not give up on them. I've learned that I cannot wait for 2:45 because that is when I pick up my youngest little dude and get to hear about his day and see his smily and hear his laughter. Oh, his excitement. If only I could bottle it up and share it with you all, I promise you'd melt.
I've learned that I do want peoples advice and help because for the most part I have no idea what I'm doing or how to handle a situation that pops up. I know most people do not want unsolicited advice, but I say bring it on. If I don't like it I don't have to follow it. But maybe, just maybe, I can grab pieces of advice and piece it together to make something wonderful that will work. I've learned that our next foster care placement will more than likely not be such a wide range in age. It's pretty difficult to manage a 15 year old and a 9 year old and a 12 year old at the same time. I think our next placements will either be all teens or all younger than teens. I've learned not to put parameters around who you think you will like the most and get along with the best. It just doesn't work. I promise. Honestly, I thought that I wouldn't like the 9 year old age that much but I absolutely love it! Adore it. Wish I could bottle it up. I've also learned that, if I didn't think my parents knew what they were talking about already, I definitely know now and I am so thankful for their wisdom and guidance and love. I promise you that on a daily basis I call my mom and dad and apologize for acting like I did, ever, and ask for advice one how they handled it when I did act like I did. I asked my mom one day how she did it with us 3 kids and she simply responded, without hesitation, 'God'! God Bless my mom and dad for never taking us into their own hands and trying to make us work, but instead trusting that God would handle it all for us if they would just put us in His hands. That's good stuff right there.
About my marriage, I've learned that I absolutely love my man. I mean, head over heels, over the moon, ain't no other man like my man, love my Elias. I am so absolutely blessed that he would allow me to not work these past few months and support me in the decision to be a stay at home mom because these kids need this. I am so blessed that he works so hard and studies so much and still finds time to play with the kids and talk to them when he gets home and discipline them when he needs to. I've learned what it is like to truly serve him and make sure that he doesn't get lost in the shuffle of adding 3 kids to the mix. I've learned that I do not want anything, at all, ever to come between us. And I mean that. While I love these kids and they demand a lot from me, my husband means more to me than anything else on this world and I cannot let him and his feelings and his emotions fall to the wayside. Not gonna happen and I will fight to the death to make sure he knows he is loved and to serve him and honor him as the head of this family that God has called us to. "'Til death do us part."
About my opinions, I've learned that sometimes you just have to keep them to yourself until the right time. I've learned that sometimes opinions do change, even on those things that you swore they wouldn't, because it might not be the best opinion to have in this or that case. I've learned that the only opinion I have that has not and will not change is that God is in control and He holds my world in His hands. He is the same yesterday, today and forever and I will forever believe in that. I think the reason that hasn't changed is because it's not so much an opinion, but a fact that I know is true.
On that note. About my God, I've seen that He is the most faithful person in my life. Period. Each time something happens with any of the kids and I'm tempted to give up, He scoops me up and holds me close and I'm filled with His peace that passes all understanding. He never gives up on me and will always be there. He always has and always will. I've learned that God is gracious to us even when we didn't deserve it and therefore I should be an imitator of Him and be gracious to these kids, even when I don't think they deserve it. Because that's what love is and that's how He loves us. I've learned that He is all they need. They don't need me to micro-manage their lives or to discipline them until I'm blue in the face. They don't even need the family and friends that they so desperately miss. All they need is Him and my one and only job on this earth, along with Elias, is to point them to Him.
Wow, that's a lot that I've learned and it's only been 3 weeks! I linked up to a video of the song 'Never Once' by Matt Redman. If you've never heard it listen to it and let the words of that song sink in. "You are faithful God!"
Some verses that have gotten me through the past 3 weeks:
- Philippians 4:6-7 "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
- 1 John 4: 7-8 "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God."
- John 16:33 "...In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world."
1 comment:
You have figured out the secret He has been trying to teach me over these last few months: Everything in this life has ONE purpose! To draw is closer to Him so we point others towards him as well!! You are an inspiration!! Way to go Mom (and Dad)!!
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