You're Gonna Make It

I woke up this morning at 6:50. I loathe waking up and seeing any number lower than 8 in the hour space. Really 9, but some days 8 is good. 

I woke up and the house was mostly silent so I took deep breaths and debated whether I should get my coffee now or after I take the 10 y/o to school. The choice was made for me.

I cursed my life, {dramatic, I know} and got up and did the morning mom thing. Break up a fight, remind kids why we don't eat in the bathroom {barf}, explained why wearing your Vans without socks would lead to more problems down the road but if you really want to then by all means, for the love of God, get your shoes on so we.can.go.

No grace in that moment. No hate, but no grace. I wanted to scream and on the short drive to the school, I just asked God to give me the grace to love my life at 7:30 am.

Just when I swore I ruined the little guys day and I would for sure pay for it with a condescending conversation with the teacher {who somehow thinks that I give this kid all the ammo he needs to be super hyped because I obviously don't like her, or so it seems}, a song comes on the radio and I hear the little guy chuckle his cute little chuckle and say, "You really like this song even though it's annoying. Like you like me and Christian, even when we're annoying." 

 

We pulled up into the driveway at the school and I bid him a heartfelt good day and tell him that I do in fact love him. He tells me to have a good day too and that he knows I love him.

Foster Care is hard. So very very hard sometimes. Especially with older kids. But it's always worth it. Even when the rain is pouring down in your soul and it's hard to see, the sun is still there. Keeping your soul from going completely dark. And one day, you'll look back and remember the time a kid reminded you that he is worth it.